Sweet and Sour
by Mustard Lady
Summary: "Yes, Belle can be argumentative as she is beautiful," he says. She can be very inventive too! We all know that Gaston is a fool, but nobody knows that more than Belle. Fed up with his boorish, slithering advances toward her, Belle takes matters into her own hands and decides to teach Gaston a lesson he'll never forget, and make him leave her alone once and for all! Will it work?
1. Chapter 1 A Parasite

**Okay, as a Bible-believing Christian, I'm not sure if I should be doing this, but I could not, could not, could not wait to type down and post this story when it came to me! I don't own anything. You can view it from either version (doesn't really matter), but I am writing this based on the new live-action film Beauty and the Beast. Hope you enjoy!**

 **I'm not sure if Belle would _actually_ do this, though I'm sure she wanted to sometimes! But that's what is fun about being a writer. So, in this case, she does do it. **

**After all the pain that Gaston brought to others, it bugs me so much that he always got off unscathed before he died. Well, I've decided that he should suffer a little, ha, ha, ha, ha! Someone as macho as him? Eh, he'll survive. Please, please do leave reviews. I would _love_ to hear your thoughts on this one! I had a blast concocting it. Enjoy! **

* * *

While Maurice worked on blueprints for his new music boxes, Belle headed for the blacksmith to purchase the new horseshoes they'd ordered for Philippe. She also had a few other errands to run so she skipped along to fulfill her mission. Her last order of business was to stop by Pere Robert's to borrow another book. She sped through her trips in town, as usual people stared at her suspiciously and some turned up their noses, and finally was off to the church. Pere Robert greeted her with a friendly smile which she returned. She made her selection and departed already reading her book.

Belle was passing the butcher's when she heard a cheering crowd nearby. There were victorious shouts of _"Gaston! Gaston! Gaston!"_ Belle rolled her eyes.

 _He's at it again,_ She thought, whatever 'it' was. Belle didn't care to know, but it was obvious that Gaston was showing off again and it was apparent that the townspeople were having a thrill. Belle just walked faster absorbed in her book, having absolutely no interest in what Gaston was doing. Her story was so much more appealing and soon she was lost in it so much that she felt she was actually there.

Gaston _was indeed_ showing off. Lefou had set up a pool to see if any of the men in town could outdo Gaston in an arm-wrestling match. Gaston was loving every minute of it, and _naturally_ he was winning. At this point, two of the men had decided to give Gaston a challenge: he had to arm-wrestle both of them at the same time! Lefou naturally encouraged him as did everyone else, and Gaston took them on. Of course, he won. Lefou cheered louder than anyone, and he gathered up their winnings. Gaston posed tall and proud, wearing that smug smile as the crowd gathered around him as if he was a Greek god. Being taller than everyone else, his eyes immediately fell on something else. "Excuse me," he smiled and pushed his way through. As usual, he was in pursuit of his favorite prey.

* * *

Belle was giggling at the dialogue she was reading in her book. She was so into her story that for once her ears failed to warn her of the familiar pesky big boots plodding behind her. "Hello, Belle!" Gaston exclaimed from right behind. Belle was so startled-it sounded as if the guy was on top of her-that she jumped, dropping her book and her basket of items which scattered on the ground.

"Ahh!" She exclaimed, and then stared down at her belongings, embarrassed and annoyed as she saw the cause.

"Oh, forgive me, Belle. I didn't mean to startle you." Gaston smiled. Belle barely smiled back.

"I...I was reading, I...I didn't hear you." Belle said quietly, and began to gather her things. Gaston didn't even bother to help.

"Did you see?" He asked excitedly.

"See _what?"_ Belle replied.

"You really missed it!" Gaston announced. "Several of our neighbors went up as a challenge against me."

"They were all men, I hope." Belle rolled her eyes since she was bending down with her hair blocking her face.

"Oh, naturally." Gaston agreed.

"I take it that this was Monsieur Lefou's idea." Belle said, brushing the dirt off her precious book.

"Very good, Belle." Gaston nodded. "But as I was saying..."

"Uh...excuse me, Gaston," Belle spoke quickly, "but I should be going." _Thank you for the help!_ She muttered sarcastically in her mind.

"Oh, shall I accompany you back?" Gaston offered.

 _Nooo!_ Belle wanted to shout. "No thank you. I believe I know the way to my own house."

"But you haven't heard the rest of my story!" Gaston insisted, gripping her arm. Belle yanked her arm back and stared at him, peeved.

" _Please,"_ she said flatly. "Excuse me." She started to head in the direction of home but Gaston blocked her. Belle glared at him. "Do you mind?" She huffed.

"Belle, you don't know what _you're missing,"_ Gaston sneered and narrowed his eyes. Belle was disgusted. She didn't know exactly what he meant by that, though she had a grisly idea, and he's the last person she'd ever want an explanation from! Plus, the look on his face made her feel uncomfortable. She didn't even bother to answer. Enough was enough! She curtly brushed by him and ran home.

Belle was relieved to be home. She felt much safer in here than out there, within the walls of her home, the home of her father's love. She roughly set down her basket and slammed her book on the table. She couldn't believe what a creep Gaston was, and it frazzled her the way he kept trying to get her to notice him. All the more reason that she wanted more, so much more than this provincial life!

* * *

Maurice had to make a delivery to another village. He kissed Belle good-bye, and promised to be back by dinner that evening. She waved to him as he drove away. Belle sighed and turned. She was about to go back into the house when she bumped right into...Gaston! She gasped and jumped back. "Gaston!" She growled. _"What_ are you doing here!?"

"Surprised you, didn't I?" Gaston smiled triumphantly.

"Gaston," Belle groaned, "pray tell me, why is that when you want to talk to me, you always wait until my father is not around?" She asked angrily. "I find it extremely unnerving!"

"Pardon me, Belle. A mere oversight on my part." Gaston shook his head. Belle tightly pursed her lips.

 _Papa's barely been gone a couple moments, and already I have to deal with a pesky roach!_ Belle thought. "What is it you want? I have things to do."

"Well, now you know what a marvelous hunter I am." Gaston said casually.

"How so?"

"Well, I took you by surprise...and very efficiently, mind you."

"Yes, we've established _that."_ Belle crossed her arms.

"How do you think it is that I am able to get all my killings when I hunt? Without ever missing a single shot?"

"I for one am not a hunter, Gaston, so you're asking the wrong person. Excuse me." Belle tried to run into the house.

"Ohh, Belle." Gaston moaned dramatically. "Why is that you never come to see my trophies? They are real prizes I can tell you. And you have no idea how much I've wanted you to see them. You know, all of my talent, my superior intelligence...it all means nothing if you won't give it even a glance."

 _Enough already! Don't start now, Gaston! Don't pull that pathetic 'I can't live without you, Belle' act!_ Belle wanted to screech. _I've heard it too many times. And the answer is the same as always...no!_ She was about to shove him out of the way when suddenly an idea popped into her head. An embarrassing memory that she hadn't thought of in years started flowing her memory filter, and she turned back toward Gaston who stood there puffing out his lip and putting on the best puppy dog eyes he could. Inwardly cringing at what she was about to do, she spoke politely to him, which was as difficult as having a tooth pulled!

"Gaston, will...will you..." Belle was practically choking on the words.

"Yes, Belle?" Gaston asked eagerly his eyes lighting up and he got in her face.

"W-w-would you be... _my guest?"_ Belle nearly puked as she finished. She literally felt lightheaded and wished that she _would_ pass out! "Maybe sit and...perhaps have something to drink?"

"Oh, Belle!" Gaston gushed, pulling her hand to his lips so he could kiss it but she roughly yanked it back to her side. "I was beginning to fear that you would never ask me! I would _love_ to be your guest."

" _That's what I was afraid of."_ Belle muttered under her breath. She unhappily beckoned him to follow. He was right on her heels. She reached the porch and he was practically inside the door behind her when she slightly pushed him back. "Why don't you wait out here?" She suggested. She would never let him set foot in that house if she could help it.

"Out here?" Gaston sputtered, disappointed.

"Well, yes." Belle put on a pasted smile. "It's such a lovely day, nothing like a fresh cup of tea and lovely sights to look at."

" _Don't I know that."_ Gaston smirked.

"I'll just be a minute." Belle said and quickly shut the door behind her. At least she was safe in here. At least in the house Gaston wasn't breathing down her neck! "I hope I know what I'm doing!" She begrudgingly thought aloud.

* * *

 **Ooo! What is she up to? What is she going to do? Will it work? Please, please leave reviews!**


	2. Chapter 2 The Takedown

**Have I told you how much I enjoy sticking pins in this guy?! I'd be such a hypocrite to deny it. So, what is Belle going to do? Turn into Rapunzel and hit him over the head with a frying pan? It's not like that would solve her problem.**

* * *

Belle walked into the kitchen and peeked into the cupboard. She pulled out her intended ingredients, but one was missing. She was relieved to find it in the pantry. Before she mixed them, Belle told herself, "Oh, I really shouldn't!" She was remembering when she was about five-years-old and her father was out in the garden while she was in the house. She decided to make some tea for herself like a big girl, so she had filled the kettle with water like she'd seen her father do, but being so young, she didn't know which ingredients she was supposed to use. She'd innocently fixed herself a miserable invention of water, black pepper, castor oil, salt that she'd mistaken for sugar, and vinegar that she'd mistaken for honey! Needless to say, she was miserably sick the rest of the day! It had been gruesome and very embarrassing. That is just what she was planning to concoct for her so-called guest! It was a bit cruel she knew, but Gaston was such a jerk and a cad. She'd seen the way he'd treated Agathe from time to time, making fun of her, or worse, plus hurting others where hardly anyone noticed, not to mention the way he always tried to go after Belle herself! Belle knew this was unorthodox, but what else could she do? Gaston obviously didn't shy away from being given a 'no', and he was being extremely obnoxious, in a disdainful way. If he wasn't a malicious person like he was with Agathe and others, Belle may have killed her scheme. But Gaston was slick and devious, plus his behavior this morning made Belle extremely uneasy. So, he hadn't really given Belle much of a choice! She took a deep breath and with a sneaky grin on her face imagining his surprise, she went for it!

* * *

Gaston leaned proudly outside against the door of the house with his arms crossed. He wore that familiar twisted smirk that covered his face. He couldn't believe it: Belle had finally come around! This was the moment he'd been waiting for and prowling on for how long? He'd lost count. Now he would have everything his heart desired. Now he would have the trophy wife he'd preyed on, and everyone would look up to and worship him all the more for having such a beautiful wife to look upon. Now Belle would be his, and all his former glory as an army captain among other things would glow and glisten brighter than it ever had before. He puffed out his chest as he imagined all the many, hearty congrats that he would get, Lefou would be beyond thrilled…

* * *

"There!" Belle sighed with relief. Her 'special' was ready. She hoped she'd mixed it up enough, yet she also hoped she hadn't put in too much that it would be fatal! After all, she didn't want to actually kill Gaston! Well, maybe in the back of her mind she did, but she had decided not to go _that far!_ She just wanted Gaston to experience a little discomfort and forget about this stupid infatuation that was never going to become anything more. When she remembered how sick she'd been that day when she was a little girl, the more she felt that this should be effective enough to make Gaston think twice before proposing to her again. Gaston couldn't die from this, it wasn't like she'd used lye or arsenic in his drink. Belle gulped for a moment, a little twinge of conscience making her halt, but only a little. Then she cleared her throat, chuckled to herself, took a deep breath, then opened the door!

Totally lost in his daydreams of grandeur, Gaston nearly fell back when Belle opened the door. "Here we are." She smiled. Gaston gloated big time. That was the first 'genuine' smile Belle had ever given him. She set her tray of two drinks onto the railing, hers was actually filled with tea, _his_ was the misery-inducing concoction. "Here you are," She said smoothly, inwardly feeling ridiculous using that tone to this bloke of all people! "It was made special."

"Ohh, Belle," Gaston sighed theatrically. "I will not forget this day! It's the luckiest day of your life. You won't regret it!"

"How is it lucky...for _me_?" Belle furrowed her brows. _I only asked him to be my guest. I didn't say I'd marry him!_

"Because you've made me the happiest man in all of Villeneuve!"

 _Only Gaston could turn a friendly hello into a coronation ceremony!_ "Drink up!" Belle spoke, trying to nip any mention of marriage right in the bud. "It's my special brand." She said smoothly. "My special token for special people I want to show how I feel about." _It should have quite an effect on you._ "I made it _especially_ for you, Gaston!"

"Ohhh, Belle," Gaston said in a giddy voice. "To us!" He exclaimed, chinking their cups. She could not have made his day any brighter...or, so he thought. Belle watched nervously as he wolfed down a mega gulp of the drink, as if he was swigging down a glass of beer at the tavern. She gaped with her jaw dropped. This was going to turn out better than even she'd planned! She knew he'd accept her token, but she hadn't expected him to show it _that_ greedily! Gaston licked his lips and cocked his head smiling. And then it hit! His smile slowly dropped and he began to shift uncomfortably. He tried to smile but found himself gulping. He cleared his throat loudly and tugged at his collar. Belle saw beads of sweat developing on his forehead. Whoa, her invention was heading to full swing, but Gaston certainly hadn't helped himself by swallowing his whole beverage in a single gulp!

"Gaston, are you all right?" Belle asked casually.

"Of...of course I am!" Gaston pried on a smile, but he quickly grimaced. "Oohhff."

"Gaston, you don't look well." Belle pointed out. "Why...why, you look _green."_ Gaston's shoulders slumped and he dropped his cup to the ground. He stared dazedly in front of him and walked away, holding his side, starting to feel rotten. Belle watched him clumsily make his way down the street. She shook her head and covered her mouth so she wouldn't laugh. She bit her lip hard and rushed back into the house.

* * *

Gaston staggered dizzily toward his lodgings but he didn't feel so good anymore. He felt very queasy. "Gaston!" Lefou gasped in horror at the sight of his friend when he saw him. Gaston's usually smug and handsome face was a grimacing sickly green, and he looked absolutely pitiful compared to the slick, strutting 'hero' Lefou was used to seeing. Lefou ran to him, while the two fellows he'd been playing Chess with lingered behind. "Gaston, what's wrong, pal? You look terrible."

Gaston gulped hard and he looked like he was going to faint. "Do...don't know..." He grunted. "Must...must have drank...drank something that didn't agree with me. Just help me to my bed!" He groaned loudly.

"I'll say you did! Come on. Let's get you out of the street." Lefou suggested, putting Gaston's arm around him and trying to help him. But Gaston's massive height and weight from his remarkable stature were more than Lefou could deal with all by himself. "Hey! Do you fellows wanna give me a hand?" He gaped at his Chess partners. They were both staring at them. They admired Gaston as much as anybody else, but they were envious of the way he outshined them in looks and skills. That's why they weren't rushing to his aid, _yet._

"Who burned his toast?" The younger guy joked. "I've never seen him look so..."

"Helpless?" The other added sarcastically. His friend nodded.

 _"Well?"_ Lefou groaned. The older of the two men walked over to assist getting Gaston into the boarding house.

"Should I get the doctor?" The younger one asked.

"Yes!" Lefou nodded. Gaston just croaked in a grueling voice as he was helped up to the bedroom.

"Gosh, Gaston. What happened to you?" Lefou's assistant teased. "Did Gertrude give you cod liver oil instead of a kiss?" He laughed.

"Not now, Frances!" Lefou muttered. Gaston, though dizzy from the grueling turbulence his intestines were wallowing in, his pride had been poked, and he managed an angry whack across Frances' face. It was enough to sting and stun, and Frances didn't appreciate it, so Lefou was left to lug his much bigger friend up the stairs by himself. "Hey!" Lefou called back to him.

"Sorry. I'm leaving." Frances said and stepped toward the door, but not without one last look at the conspicuous pair trudging up the stairs groaning, muttering, and complaining to each other. Frances shook his head, grinning.

* * *

 **I got this idea from the old Andy Griffith Show episode _Irresistible Andy,_ where Ellie Walker did something like this to Andy, only his drama was so much less drastic! When it came to me as a punishment for Gaston, I was hooked. Is this the end? No way! There's more!**

 **Ha, ha, ha. Not sorry, Gaston. You are my prisoner now. Prepare to suffer!**


	3. Chapter 3 No One Suffers Like Gaston

**Thank you to Child of Dreams who gave me the idea for the beginning of this new chapter. Your review made my day.**

 **Hey, this is about so much more than Gaston being a nuisance. If he was only that, Belle wouldn't have done this to him. I know he is kind of comical. BUT...I don't care how cute Luke Evans is, his character of Gaston is a liar, a selfish jerk, a provocative manipulator, and a murderer! So I've decided to teach him a lesson before he falls to his death. Personally, I strongly disagree with my title of this chapter, but it just seemed fitting plus I could just hear someone saying it. So...ha, ha, ha. I'm being cruel, aren't I? But hey, nobody _can_ tell me that Gaston does not deserve this! And...I'm having too much fun putting him through it. Come on, people. The macho champion he is? I think he'll live.**

* * *

Agathe had been observing the usual passersby who ignored her and those that took the time to give her money in her tin cup. She also had been watching Belle, which was not unusual, considering the spot in town that she normally begged for change in. She'd been watching the whole scenario with much curiosity, especially after Belle actually invited Gaston up to the house! Agathe couldn't peel her eyes away once she saw _that!_ If Belle and Maurice owned a dog, Belle would always be sicking him on Gaston when he came to call, but apparently that wasn't the case. Agathe was even more shocked when she saw Belle come out with a tray prepared for two! Had Belle suddenly gone nuts on Agathe? She had to find out. She watched closely. This wasn't like Belle. But...when Agathe, peering sharply noticed Gaston rapidly becoming physically disoriented and then he hurried away from Belle's home-without the door being shut in his face-looking very ill, and Belle's shoulders shaking from trying to control her laughter, Agathe was stunned. As she watched her large, handsome, smug, and nitwit tormentor stagger like a drunkard toward his home, she could not help but smile widely. She sat back and crossed her arms, smirking as she watched Gaston pass by and she could hear his after effect lyrics of Belle's feelings for him. And, she could have sworn the sun shone brighter through the overcast clouds!

* * *

"Gosh, Gaston. What did Belle put in your food?" Lefou chided. Gaston looked absolutely wretched and he surely felt it too as he sat miserably on his bed in his room at the lodge. Lefou had loosened his collar and removed his coat so that it wouldn't get sabotaged, for Gaston had been suffering with a very upset stomach for the passed ten minutes and wouldn't want his precious coat to suffer for it.

"Didn't...didn't have any." Gaston panted.

"But you must have had something."

"I only...argh...had a spot of tea." Gaston cringed at the memory. His insides burned worse now.

"That must have been _some_ tea." Lefou remarked. "You stay here and try to rest. I'm gonna get you some help."

"Nnoo!" Gaston grumbled loudly, tightly gripping Lefou's coat to stop him. For the first time in his pitifully pompous life, the last thing in the world Gaston wanted right now was an audience. The very idea of anyone seeing him this appear this pathetic and weak made his skin crawl and only increased the nausea in his stomach. "Don't!"

"But you look so miserable." Lefou said.

"Thanks a lot, Lefou." Gaston rolled his eyes, scowling as his stomach lurched. "I _am_ miserable. That...that's just the encouragement I nee..." He thrust his handkerchief back up to his mouth as his stomach regurgitated again.

"Someone's really grouchy right now." Lefou whispered to himself, watching sympathetically. Gaston gasped loudly once he'd finished vomiting. "I think you need to see a doctor."

"Noo! What for? Nothing helps. It's not the same as having...aarrghh...having Belle at my side, tending to my hurts." Gaston whimpered. He didn't want to see the doctor, right now all he wanted was Belle to pamper him and mush over him in his misery. The swerving tidal waves in his body were just horrible. He couldn't remember ever feeling so rotten.

"But, Gaston! You...you may be dying!" Lefou blurted out. "And...and I don't want to lose my best friend."

"If that were true, Lefou, I'd be dead by now." Gaston replied curtly. He had no idea what had hit him so hard, but it was beyond even his control this time and that fact drove him nuts plus only made him feel more sick.

"Is there _anything_ I can do to help?" Lefou begged. Gaston bared his teeth and finally just let himself lay on his bed. He flopped his head on the pillow and didn't care that his big, dirty boots were going to make those sheets a challenge for the washerwoman who was unlucky enough to be assigned them.

"Just quit jabbering." Gaston muttered. "You're not helping my swarming head."

"I'm sorry." Lefou sighed sadly.

Gaston's eyes widened in irritation as he felt something hard under his pillow. Jerking himself up to a sitting position, he reached under and pulled out his pistol. Griping for the discomfort it had caused him, he growled and vehemently pitched it at the wall where it discharged and blew a hole in the mantle of the fireplace. The frayed side collapsed with a small crash, but Gaston didn't care. He didn't feel good and he was in a foul mood. He grumpily leaned back in the bed grimacing.

"Whoa." Lefou raised his eyebrows. "Mrs. Hopkins is gonna be mad at you!"

"I don't care. Right now all I want is Belle to come soothe me." Gaston whined.

"Wow, Gaston. I think the delirium is already settling in." Lefou shook his head.

"What do you mean by that?"

"You know what I think? I think Belle spiked your drink so you wouldn't bother her!" Lefou laughed. To think that Gaston, the most admired, sought after, and strongest man in town had been outdone by a girl, and very cleverly too by the girl he pursued so hard who hated his guts! Lefou couldn't helped admiring Belle for her ingenuity.

"Ohhh!" Gaston cried loudly, partly from his physical misery and also from Lefou's words. The short little man may be his biggest fan, but this was the time he was supposed to make him feel better, not worse! And right now he was only making things worse. "How cruel of you to say that to a hero when he is flat on his back, in his most desperate hour of need." Gaston moaned, then he sat up as he felt another intense wave of nausea wash over him. He gagged and gurgled into his handkerchief. Then he fell back on the pillow. "You're crazy, Lefou. Belle wouldn't do that to me."

"Oh?" Lefou arched his eyebrows.

"No. She loves me too much to show that kind of affection yet." Gaston sighed.

"Really?" Lefou quipped.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Gaston glowered. "You don't believe me?"

"I didn't say that." Lefou crossed his arms, smirking.

"Ugh." Gaston rolled his eyes and turned on his side, facing the wall. "You really want to be of some help?"

"Anything!" Lefou jumped to his feet. "Anything for you, Gaston."

"Get me a swig of beer. Maybe it will help."

"Okay!" Lefou jumped to his feet. "Will you be all right here by yourself?"

"Yes. Just go." Gaston mumbled.

"I better tell the bar tender to throw in some ginger ale too."

"Mmm-hmm."

* * *

Belle busied herself by reading a book. She wondered how Gaston was faring. He certainly hadn't looked like the dashing, bumbling man about town like he usually did when he'd fled from Belle's house! She had never seen him look so helpless. That description brought a smile to her face as she thought she'd never know anyone to use it in painting a picture of Gaston. Oh, she hoped he was miserable, so much so that he'd never come to court her again; however, she did hope that he'd make it out alive from this bout of sickness. As much of a frightening pest that he was, Belle wouldn't want to be responsible for his death! She said a little begrudging prayer, not that Gaston would feel better, but that he at least wouldn't die from her returned advances of affection.

* * *

Lefou had returned with the beer, and the doctor to find Gaston still moaning and groaning. The doctor examined him and prescribed a foul-tasting tonic. Since there were no signs of fever, he said that Gaston should just take it easy and let the sickness run its course. Gaston turned up his nose at the medicine and sent Lefou on errand after errand for more beer and ginger ale, for all the good it was doing him. Lefou knocked on Belle's door. He wanted to find out how his friend had suddenly become so sick. Belle was afraid to answer, but she slowly opened the door. "Monsieur Lefou," she gulped. "What brings you here?"

"Belle, I thought you should know," Lefou took off his hat. "Gaston is ill, and in bed." Belle bit her lip. Somehow she already knew that. She looked down at her boots.

"Oh. He is?" She asked as casually as possible.

"Yes." Lefou sighed. "He's very unhappy right now."

 _Don't say it!_ Belle shuddered, expecting her nemesis' loyal fan to tell her that Gaston was calling for her and that he really wanted her to follow him back and comfort the poor, unfortunate soul. Picturing that in her mind made Belle herself feel queasy. "Will he be all right?" She asked dutifully.

"The doctor thinks so." Lefou nodded. "Just a really bad case of indigestion. And I'm so relieved. We wouldn't want to lose our beloved Gaston in this town, now would we?" He eyed her suspiciously.

"What a tragedy that would be." Belle said sarcastically, looking away.

"Belle, I have to ask. What happened to him when he came over? Did he eat something foreign?" Belle narrowed her eyes.

"You want to know the truth?" She asked.

"Yes, I really do."

"I just gave him a special tonic. He was out of sorts, so I decided to fix him up!" Belle explained vehemently."If he's feeling the after effects, I think he'll survive." Lefou tried hard to keep from laughing, but it was next to impossible. He had been right after all.

"Shall I send him your regards?" He grinned. Belle glared.

"I think I _already did_. Now if you'll excuse me."

"Certainly." Lefou smiled widely, bowing and put his hat back on. "Have a nice day, Belle." He cocked his head and traipsed down the stairs back to town. Belle watched and shut the door again. If Lefou chose to spread her decision all over town and the villagers chose to accuse Belle of attempted murder, so what? Because in her heart, Belle truly knew that she wouldn't do that! Plus, maybe now Gaston would leave her alone! As she thought of the way he treated Agathe, and all his other conceited contempt or as he put it 'great virtues', she felt satisfied in knowing that at least right now he wasn't a happy camper at all! He needed to be taught a lesson, for _once_ that the world, the _real_ world did not revolve around Gaston. It was so much bigger than that! Belle hoped that after today, the big, surly brute would prey on some different girl who would welcome his advances. Maybe after today, at least Belle hoped, that he would just leave her alone!

Thankful that Gaston wasn't going to die from her concoction but also glad to know that he was totally miserable for once, she let out a huge sigh. If it wasn't for his conceited character, Belle would never have dreamed of deliberately causing anyone this kind of trouble! But, as usual in any case with anyone, Gaston was an exception. Or rather, he _made_ himself an exception.

* * *

The whole tavern inhabitants freaked out, especially the triplets, when Lefou told them of Gaston's misfortune. Well, actually Frances and his pal Fredrick had told everyone first. Lefou assured them that he was not going to die, and that he would be himself as soon as he felt better. Still, everyone asked what they could do to help. Lefou suggested they give him a big welcome back party when Gaston returned to the tavern. Everybody heartily agreed. However, Lefou did not tell them who was responsible for their hero's misery or why. That secret he would keep to himself to gloat over and use at the proper times if Gaston was getting a little too ahead of himself, especially about Belle.

Gaston remained in bed all day to let his belligerent stomach settle, as the ginger ale more than anything seemed to be helping. By evening, his color had returned, he wasn't queasy anymore, and he felt well enough to go to the tavern with Lefou to have some fun. However, he did feel weary and tired, so when they arrived he slouched in _his_ favorite chair, his _throne,_ and lounged there while the whole tavern fussed over him. He gladly soaked up every minute of it. The town swarmed over their champion ridiculously. He was waited on hand and foot with anything that he requested. When he became physically tired from being gawked at, he just ignored everybody and turned his attention to the fireplace and _his_ antler decorations he was so proud of.

"So, what happened, Gaston?" Frances asked in a teasing tone, his pal Fredrick beside him. "You going to tell us what really happened?"

"No." Gaston growled, staring straight ahead with a provoked look on his face. He wasn't about to let himself become disgraced and publicly humiliated anymore than he already felt.

"Aw, come on." Fredrick added sneakily. "Let's have the real story."

"I wouldn't pick on him too much, you two." Lefou warned as he noticed Gaston's knuckles bulging. "You know, he's had a rough day. And he's still grumpy." Gaston's chest heaved at those words. Lefou was only trying to help, but he was making Gaston sound minor and pathetic. Frances and Fredrick laughed.

"You mean a big, strong fellow like you, Gaston...afraid to tell the truth?" Fredrick prodded. Frances nudged him in the side as they jeered. They truly liked Gaston, but it wasn't every day that they had a chance to feel more manly than him due to a setback. Gaston had had enough. Scowling, he growled loudly and shoved Fredrick against the wall by kicking him in the guts with his boot. Then he rose from his chair like a tiger, hoisted Frances up like a barrel of apples, then tossed him hard across the room where he fell onto the table of shocked onlookers and slid off, falling to the floor. Gaston turned back at Fredrick, glowering dangerously at the smaller guy.

"All right, all right!" Fredrick groaned timidly. "I'm going, I'm going! Goodness." He slinked away to leave with his pal. _"Whoo, touchy!"_ He shook his head, muttering to himself.

Gaston sighed in relief and rubbed his chin. The crowd cheered and hollered for his impressive display of brute strength. Considering how weak he'd thought they all had believed he was for being ill, it was just the medicine he wanted to lift his spirits. His champion macho image hadn't been tarnished after all, at least not after that sucker human log toss he'd flung. He puffed out his chest, grandly placed his hands on his belt and cocking his head smugly, walked back to his throne. Lefou was still clapping. "Wow. You're really something, you know that?" He smiled.

"I know." Gaston smirked proudly, slouching comfortably in the chair with his large leg across his knee.

"Well, if you're _really_ going to marry that girl, I'm just warning you, this is what you'll have to look forward to when she serves you dinner." Lefou teased, nudging Gaston in his side which earned the tubby man a glare.

"Oh, Lefou, not that spike business again." Gaston moaned. "Belle would never dream of doing that to someone like me."

"I don't know." Lefou quipped.

"Belle is sweet, the sweetest girl in the world," Gaston said dreamily.

"Yeah! And full of vinegar too." Lefou added.

"Well, _yes,_ I suppose she is." Gaston shrugged, unable to deny that fact. "But that's what makes her all the more appealing! She is just full of surprises. Life would never be dull with her around. She didn't deliberately try to cause me physical discomfort, Lefou. That's where you are deluded, my friend."

"Well, what do you call it?" Lefou asked curiously. He had to hear Gaston explain that one.

"This was the luckiest day of her life, as I reminded her." Gaston smiled. "She was so stunned by the wonderful news, that she accidentally put something in my tea that shouldn't have been there. She's still playing hard to get. She wants me to believe she hates me, but deep down inside, it so untrue! It was all in blissful ignorance, Lefou. That's all." Gaston leaned his head back in his chair, satisfied with his own explanation.

Lefou's jaw dropped. Even he was blown away by his hero's theory. It was too much! He just chuckled, patting his friend on the shoulder, and shook his head. However, the triplets were huffing with jealousy. They'd heard the words of their desired admirer and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to finally straighten him out. They surrounded Gaston's chair. "Belle doesn't deserve you!" One of the girls blurted out.

"I _know."_ Gaston sighed heavily, raising his arms restfully behind his head and crossing his long legs, not really in the mood for debating. He was mentally fatigued.

"You should just forget her!"

"Yes." The third added. "You should give your heart to someone who truly appreciates you," she said smoothly, twisting her little finger through his slick dark hair as she stood behind his chair. "Someone like _yours truly?"_ The other two girls batted their eyes and sat at Gaston's feet, gazing at him hungrily. One of them took his hand, massaging it smoothly. Though he relished in the praise and caresses he was getting, all of this felt hollow compared to his daydream of Belle gushing all over him.

"Yes. That Belle is the odd one out. She always has been." The second girl snarled. "Doesn't know quality when she sees it."

"Now, now..." Gaston smiled cooly, "You girls shouldn't be so hard on Belle. After all, can she help it if she loves me so much, but just doesn't know it yet?" The girls all puffed out their lips and retreated back to their original seats, muttering something unfriendly about _men._

"Well, you sure got rid of them!" Lefou cheered. "But are you serious, Gaston? Do you really believe that about Belle?"

"I do." Gaston closed his eyes and smiled smugly.

* * *

Belle had given Gaston her last thoughts that night after Maurice had come home and she told her father what happened. Belle told him the truth. Maurice gaped at her when he found out her part in it, but he knew his daughter well enough that she would ordinarily never do something like this. He couldn't help smiling. However, he addressed her about doing it again. "Don't worry, I won't, Papa." Belle said. "It was difficult and awkward enough today!" BUT, she would _never_ apologize to Gaston for this! Not ever.

The next day, Belle was washing the breakfast dishes when there was a loud knock at the door. Drying her wet hands on a towel, she foolishly answered it. Belle thought she was in a nightmare! Standing there was a tall, robust, happy, healthy Gaston who was smiling widely and Lefou was faithfully standing behind him! Belle gritted her teeth very hard. How she wished the floor would cave in underneath her! _What now?! Is he back for a rematch?_ Her mind thundered.

"Good morning, Belle!" Gaston greeted loudly. "You'll be happy to know that I'm fully recovered." He spread his arms out.

"So I see." Belle muttered. _Didn't he learn **anything** yesterday? _

"I spent a most gruesome day yesterday, terribly ill in bed." Gaston whined, dramatizing the point. "It was horrible, Belle. You should've seen it!"

 _Yes. I really should have!_ Belle pursed her lips hard, fighting for control. "Oh, I think I can imagine it." Belle said flatly.

"But you want to know what carried me through all that pain and misery yesterday?"

"Let me think..." Belle took a deep breath, desperately trying not to lose her temper. _I don't want to know!_

" _You,_ Belle." Gaston gushed dreamily. "Just thinking of you made it all worthwhile."

 _That's it!_ That did it! Belle slammed the door shut in his face and gasped in shock and contempt. She clasped her head in her hands. "Ggggrrr!" She groaned loudly, angrily running her fingernails through her hair. _"Now_ what am I going to do!?"

* * *

 **9 Months Later**

"Did you _really_ do that?" The prince asked in a teasing tone. Belle bit her lip and blushed.

"I..." She grinned sheepishly. "Yes, I did." She said quietly. Her husband snorted in laughter. "Oh, please. Don't. I really shouldn't have!"

"No, I was just thinking." The prince chuckled.

" _What?"_ Belle asked nervously. She was afraid to find out.

"Remind me to never get on _your_ bad side!" He declared, wide-eyed. Belle giggled heartily as she fell into his arms and they laughed together merrily.

* * *

 **THE END**

 **Seriously, Gaston. Are you really _that_ stupid? You ought to be psychoanalyzed. I had so much fun writing this story. Hope you enjoyed it too. And you won't get any apologies from me for being so rough on him!**


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